My name is Jack Anthony Eitner. I was born in Hackensack New Jersey, and was raised in the small town of Waldwick, New Jersey my whole life. Being from such a small town, I never expected to experience things that others typically would not. I thought I was just an average joe living in an average joe town. Well, today I am here to say that is not the case. Today I am here to tell my story.
My mother comes from a family of 12 siblings. Nine biological, and three adopted. My grandparents had been people I looked up to my entire life for their commitment to their family. They also had a pool which was awesome. Anyway, whenever my parents would go out of town, or just wanted some time off from my childish ways; I would sleepover my grandparents house. My uncle Travis, one of my moms three adopted siblings, was the closest in age to me. Only having a three year difference between us, brought us closer together. Travis was my best friend, and I was his. And after the initial few anxiety attacks I had when my parents would leave me, Travis finally got me comfortable enough to where I never wanted to leave.
Fast forward a few years, I had grown up a lot. As I attended High School, I made more friends, and Travis and I grew apart in some ways. I didn't have as much of an urge to go to my grandparents house anymore, I had friends of my own, other places to go. Travis did not have the same luxury unfortunately. I was still his only friend, and where he went to school he got bullied for the color of his skin and for the way he behaved. I saw how much he struggled, and I always knew there was more than what was on the surface. But just like everyone else in our giant family, this was something that was swept under the rug often.
I always was a little bit jealous of how spoiled Travis was. My grandma would buy him anything he asked for. He had his own R2D2 robot, every new gaming system, replica lightsabers, anything you could want as a kid, he had. Unfortunately, I was a naive kid and did not realize the negative effects that this was having on Travis's mental health. He could get away with anything, He could get whatever he wanted.
As the bullying continued, Travis became more self conscious. He cared about what everyone else thought about him, he grew more and more violent with every insult he received. Everything became personal. Even if you were his best friend, one wrong thing and he'd take it the wrong way. I saw the pain he faced everyday, as a kid, so I could only imagine what the adults in our lives were thinking.
I'll never forget when Travis made his first bad decision. It was thanksgiving, Mom's side of the family this year. I walked into my grandparent's house and saw that my uncle James had a black eye. Travis had punched James in a fight. After hearing more about what happened, I learned that my uncle James was defending his sister, my aunt Teia.
Teia was nine years older than me, a beautiful soul who always had a smile on her face. She taught me how to swim, taught me how to play basketball, and every time I was hanging out with Travis, Teia would try to make our days even better! Thats why on December 26th, 2013; my life would change forever.
I'll spare the readers all of the details. For personal reasons, and because no one needs to hear exactly what happened. But on December 26th 2013, I found out my Aunt Teia was killed by her brother, my childhood best friend, Travis.
I understand that this is a dark story. But this is part of me. This makes me who I am today. Since the tragedy, I've done my best to see the world through Teia's eyes, to spend every day helping people I care about get better, or feel better. I've also learned the importance of Mental Health, and how we cannot push things like that away. The stigma that surrounds mental health causes many to feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about the subject. I believe that that is the most detrimental thing to our society, and the reason that my Aunt is not here today. If we acknowledged what was wrong, instead of hiding from it, Travis would have been able to get the help he needed.
This tragedy changed my life forever. I lost two loved ones that day. But without it, I would not be who I am today. Because of this; I am more loving, compassionate, open, and caring towards others. We have to be. Kindness is the key, be kind always, and always remind people that you love them.
#FAMILY #MENTALHEALTH #MentalHealthMatters #CheckInOnLovedOnes #WhatMakesMeMe #Love #Trauma #LifeLessons
